First Children Pledge Allegiance In Britain

Governement Under Fire Over Allegiance Pledge

Children should swear an oath of allegiance to enhance a shared sense of citizenship, ministers propose. However the government has suffered the wrath of the Queen as the government stated last week that they shouldn’t have to necessarily pledge allegiance to the queen. It is felt they should instead pledge allegiance to something they actually … Continue reading

Government In Spin Over Sweet Mix Up

After the recent upsurge in British people being bedridden by the Norovirus the Department of Health has issued guidelines for anyone who is suffering from the disease. Basically do not go to a hospital or your doctor’s surgery, as you are not welcome. Unfortunately an influx of callers to the NHS Direct phone line has … Continue reading

Brown Condemnes Uniform Abuse Near RAF Base

Prime Minister Gordon Brown condemned Uniform Abuse at RAF Base in Cambridge today. Some locals it would appear have taken umbrage at the recent state of some of the uniforms worn by young RAF recruits. Squadron Leader, Horatio Bracegirdle confirmed that his men have been subject to verbal abuse by some locals but passed this … Continue reading

Down On The Farm

Winnie the pig joins farmers outside Downing St, London. Pig Farmers gathered to protest against supermarket price rises on pork products.

MP’s Back Badger Cull Shock To Apprentice Finalist

MPs have backed calls for a limited cull of badgers to help prevent the spread of TB in cattle. A report by the environment select committee says the action should be focused on TB hotspots and form part of a package of control measures. This has come as a shock to Miss Ruth Badger who … Continue reading

Let’s Hope It Doesn’t Go To The House Of Lords

Blasphemy law ‘may be abolished’ Ministers signal they may seek to repeal the law of blasphemy in a move to head off a rebellion by Labour MPs.

Weapon’s of Mass Destruction In Kindergarten Construction

The manual, written by two former employees of the Danish plastic-brick firm, is a big hit in the US.The authors of Forbidden LEGO: Build the Models Your Parents Warned You Against promise “you’ll learn to create working models that LEGO would never endorse”. The authors added: “Try your hand at a toy gun that shoots … Continue reading

Government Whitewash Will It Wash off?

A damning report has been released by the government after much pressure from watch dog groups. The Whitewash report headed by top civil servant Lord Whitewash was released at a hastily called press meeting at Whitehall this morning assumedly in the hope the whole matter will be brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible. … Continue reading

Do Clowns Create Bigger Carbon Foot Prints Than Normal People?

After our very first readers poll on your favourite newspaper we can confirm that you have voted with 80% of the vote that Clowns do in fact create bigger carbon foot prints than normal people. Thank you all that took the time to vote and we look forward to writing to Prime Minister Gordon Brown … Continue reading

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