The Rank News Weekly Horoscopes 01 June 2011

Aries Your inability to be on time for work and the little matter of  your final written warning meeting with management and personnel pays off today when you turn up at your office only to see it in flames. Try to suppress your smile whilst your colleagues scream. Leo Your plans to take over the … Continue reading

The Rank News Weekly Horoscopes 28 March 2011

The Rank News Weekly Horoscopes. You weekly dose of astrological fun. Related Articles Weekly Horoscopes 21 March 2011 ( Weekly Horoscopes March 6-12 ( Who Believes in Horoscopes? ( Libra Daily Horoscope for March 19th 2011 ( Weekly Horoscopes 14-18th February ( Horoscopes (

Weekly Horoscopes 7-11 February 2011

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries Narcolepsy causes problems this week when your new job driving a school bus on a busy motorway gets a little bit messy to say the least. Leo Gruff looking men keep stopping you and asking you the strangest of questions. It may be a good idea to stop meeting your friends near the area … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries Today will see you in two minds as to what you should do with your life. However, I am not quite sure crack or cocaine is the wisest of choices. Leo Your artistic streak comes to the fore today when you have the opportunity to spray-paint what you really think of your next door … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries: A good time to get in touch with neglected friends even if it is to only laugh mockingly in their battered and bruised faces. Leo: Your family are worried about you and justifiably so. Somehow strapping a bomb to your chest and saying things like “see you in paradise” as you walk out of … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries: You don’t seem to be able to motivate yourself to do all that you’d planned with friends. Maybe killing all of them in one go is a little too extreme perhaps two a month would be more realistic.                             Leo: That experiment with barbiturates and alcohol hasn’t turned out as you expected has it? Being … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries: Somehow you just knew it was wrong but the taste of human flesh got the better of you didn’t it? Leo: You’ve opened your big mouth way too much today best be quick before your pimp turns up and takes all of your hard earned cash. Sagittarius: Magical moments are few and far between lately and … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries It would be in your interest to remember the motto forewarned is forearmed. So when next in the wrestling ring remember to watch out for that forearm that is about open your nose up like a burst sausage. Leo Someone who you thought didn’t care for you is about to prove you right get … Continue reading

Weekly Horoscopes

Aries Another day of deep thought. What emerges is that you are God and all your work colleagues must die. Taurus Another socially dynamic day, it’s just a pity you amounted to nothing in your miserable life and no one will touch you with a bargepole. Gemini Your good looks will fall in to disarray … Continue reading

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