The Global News Terrorists Magazine

Vatican Denies Nativity Scene Too Commercialised These Days

Sometimes Buying Christmas Presents Can Be A Nightmare

Vatican Releases New Game On XBOX 360

The Romans have just arrested the Disciples and this time Jesus is mighty displeased.

Police Called to Mass Brawl At Wedding.

A member of the general public was forced to call their local police station after a wedding at the picturesque resort of Cana, Galilee after trouble at a local wedding. Officers raided the out of hand party after Jesus openly refused to produce a large quantity of wine as promised. Jesus, one eyewitness confirmed, had … Continue reading

The Global News Terrorists Magazine

Dogs Anus Centre of Jesus Probe

We have had a report of the latest in a long line of miraculous apparitions of the image of Our Lord. After Jesus has been recently spotted appearing in spilled hot chocolate, dental x-rays, shrimp and a Tampax, a reader sends us evidence that He has appeared on the bottom of a dog.The dog’s name … Continue reading

Man Falls Before Jesus In Miracle Bid.

A man who climbed a 45-foot tall statue of Jesus to pray for a miracle cure saw his plan backfire slightly, when he fell off, breaking several bones. Farmer Jonas Baptistas climbed up the statue of Jesus in Ocaca, Columbia in front of a crowd of onlookers – and TV cameras – in an attempt … Continue reading

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all of our readers from all at The Global News Terrorists

Look Good For Jesus

Ever wondered what Jesus used to use when he wanted a bath? then look no further for this blasphemous cleaning product has recently been seen on sale in the Far East. What next, ” Cleans the mind shampoo.” or “Throw the first stone” Kidney and Gall bladder relief medicine?” We asked the retailer who has … Continue reading

School Report of Jesus Found On Skip

Your Favourite newspaper has come in to receipt of an early school report for Jesus. Top scientific experts have verified that the report is real and after much debate our editorial team along with our legal department have given permission to publish the very report for our loyal readers. Dear Mr & Mrs God. Well … Continue reading

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