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Before They Voted?

Boris Tastes Victory

Conservative Boris Johnson is the new mayor of London – ending Ken Livingstone’s eight-year reign at City Hall. Boris was unavailable today for comments after his victory as his PR confirmed he was busy trying to remember where London actually is.

Race For Mayor Of London 2008

Worker Caught Having Sex With Henry Hoover

A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital’s staff canteen. A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the … Continue reading

Boris Under Attack After Stolen Moustache In Iraq

Boris Johnson has hit the news again after it was stated in the daily Broadsheets that he confessed to stealing a souvenir from Iraq. Mr Johnson admitted that in 2003 he had lifted the souvenir whilst in Iraq at the time. Boris was less than happy to receive a letter form the Metropolitan Police asking … Continue reading

Amy Wino Wanted By Boris

Boris Johnston has lambasted Sir Elton John for not supporting him in his quest to be the next Mayor of London. Mr Johnston was bitterly disappointed that the aging musician could not see to backing him even thought they send each other Christmas cards each year. Brian Paddick it appears is the man who has … Continue reading

Thousands of police officers to take to streets of Westminster in pay protest

After the recent consternation over pay within the police force officials are preparing themselves for a possible police strike the likes of which have not been seen in this country since the early part of the last century. If the police strike does come about we at Global News Towers ask the question who will … Continue reading

Boris Denies He Is Not Serious

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