Conservatives New Fight Against Yobs Outlined

Vandals and those in involved in anti-social behaviour could have their mobile phones confiscated under plans set out by the Conservatives. Shadow home secretary Chris Grayling said withholding someones phone for a month may help “disrupt” gang activity and make a point to troublemakers. Providing they are not able to buy a new phone for … Continue reading

G20 Death: Sir Paul Stephenson Speaks Out

“I am utterly shocked that members of the Metropolitan Police Force have been linked to the death of Mr Ian Tomlinson. Our officers are fully trained in dealing with circumstances such as the G20 riots. As such I am shocked that members of this police force have been implicated in the untimely death of Mr … Continue reading

Food Prices Ends Fairy Tale Dream

Local news reports have confirmed today that a witch who was once implicated in the Hansel and Gretel child abduction case has had to sell her cottage made of sugary confectionery. After investigation by the Metropolitan police at the time of the inquiry all charges were dropped due to circumstantial evidence. The reasons for the … Continue reading

Ice Cream Cone Man Arrested

An ice cream man is being questioned by the police after a spate of persistent cold selling. Mr Tony O’Brien from Pinner, London was arrested on Tuesday evening and remanded in jail following further enquiries by the police. Mr O’Brien’s solicitor confirmed that his client denies all allegations. The Metropolitan Police are looking to see … Continue reading

Paediatricians Are This Years Paedophiles

The Metropolitan Police Commissioner Harold Armstrong has today called on Prime Minister Gordon Brown to put an end to the number of Paediatricians allowed to roam our streets. The police commissioner has once again asked the question that all right minded citizens of this country have been asking for sometime now, Remove these paediatricians from … Continue reading

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