newcastle football club | THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire

Newcastle United New Signing Will Make Debut Against West Brom

Posted by GregB on August 8, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Category championship, new signing, newcastle football club, newcastle united

Alan Shearer’s Autobiography Plummets In Price On Amazon

Posted by GregB on May 25, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Category alan shearer, autobiography, newcastle football club, premiership football, relegation battle

Alan Shearer Talks Openly About Newcastle United’s Relegation Battle

Posted by GregB on April 30, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Category alan shearer, jokes, newcastle football club, newcastle united, premiership football, relegation battle

Newcastle FC Fan Sexually Attacked By Male Zebra

Posted by GregB on February 17, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The British consulate in Kenya has confirmed that a 27 year old Male has been sexually attacked while on safari in Kenya. The man who cannot be named for legal reasons was enjoying the trip of a lifetime when the incident happened. Tour Guides were shocked when a rampant male Zebra ran towards the man … Continue reading →

Category kenya, newcastle football club, rampant, sexual attack, zebra

Joey Baton Has Time On His Hands

Posted by GregB on May 25, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Barton Models The New Newcastle Kit For The Merseyside Police

Category football, jail, joey barton, merseyside police, newcastle football club, prison

Newcastle Football Club Denies Heavy Fans Making Them Plummet Towards Bottom Of The Premiership Table

Posted by GregB on March 3, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Category fans, fat cats, league table, newcastle football club, premiership, who ate all the pies

Keegan’s Magic Rubs Off Again

Posted by GregB on January 19, 2008 · Leave a Comment

The Kevin Keegan Era Mk II got off to a distinctly inauspicious start as Newcastle were held to a drab goalless draw by Bolton at an expectant St James’s Park.

Category bolton fc, keegan, newcastle football club