News In Brief: Liverpool Try To Entice Buyers For Charlie Adam
Liverpool Football Club attempt to entice more buyers for their Scottish International player Charlie Adam
News In Brief: Queen Comments On Naked Prince Harry Pictures
The Queen not happy after hearing of pictures of a naked Prince Harry published in the Sun Newspaper. Related articles Prince Harry NAKED! (hothits957.cbslocal.com) Prince Harry Naked: Could This Happen to Anyone? (lockergnome.com) Pictures: Prince Harry Nude Pictures (everyjoe.com) Why The Sun is printing naked Prince Harry pictures (thesun.co.uk)
Icelandic Phallus Museum Receives Surprise Package
An unusual museum in Iceland that only contains animal penises, has today announced the arrival of their first ever human exhibit. The Iceland Phallological Museum is located in the fishing town of Húsavik and, until today, contained two-hundred-and-nine animal “penises and penile parts”, including every single species of land mammal in Iceland; except one. Now, … Continue reading
Special Investigation : What Does Nick Clegg Actually Do? Secret Diaries Reveal All
With the Prime Minister David Cameron being out of the country this week as he tours the Middle East flogging shooters, the spotlight has fallen on the Deputy PM, who is supposedly ‘minding the shop’ in the meantime. Yet today it transpired that Mr. Clegg has decided to take the rest of the week off, … Continue reading
Glenn Beck Finally Convinced by Theory of Evolution With Discovery Of “Half-Monkey, Half-Person”
Lachrymose Fox News presenter Glenn Beck has made a sensational U-Turn today on his claim that the theory of evolution was “ridiculous” because he had yet to see a “half-monkey, half-person” after he saw this amazing evidence on ESPN.
Osborne to Cut Our Hair!
The government finally revealed the results of their hotly-anticipated spending review today and one cut overshadowed all others; the cut to every Briton’s hair!
Government to Clamp Down on ‘Scrounging’ Tots
David Cameron announced today the latest part of the Coalition’s plan to reduce the deficit; a war on workshy children.
David Miliband Quits Shadow Cabinet Over Angel Delight Snub
David Miliband has announced today that he is not prepared to serve under his brother Ed and that he intends to retire from front-line Labour politics. The Shadow Foreign Secretary, who had been the overwhelming favourite to win the Labour leadership race right up until last Saturday, denied that his decision was a personal reaction … Continue reading
The Rank News Magazine
This weekends Rank News Magazine full to the brim with news gossip and satire.
Qur’an-Burning Dipshit Offers to Fight Afghan War On His Own
The controversial Pastor Terry Jones, who plans to stage a Qur’an burning day to mark the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, has today offered to make an astonishing sacrifice to salvage his ‘event’.
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 