Police Fear Safety Of Essex Lion
Police have confirmed that they are investigating eyewitness accounts of a lion roaming the Essex countryside. Dylan Cartwright was walking his dog near Baintree last night when he heard what sounded like a lions roar. “I heard a loud roar at 10pm. It sounded like a lion,” he told the BBC.
Suspected Road Sweepers Accussed Of Sweeping
After last weekend’s dramatic raids by Anti-Terrorist Units on suspected road cleaners, the Metropolitan Police have called for diligence by the general public. In a series of raids on a council depot in the capital as well as homes of the suspects, police took away various items in clear plastic bags. These items we are … Continue reading
Stray Cat Looking Way Too Long At New Female Owner
Jim Sweeney woke up this morning after a good nights sleep to find that stray cat his 23-year-old girlfriend took in three days ago was taking too much interest in her. Smoky the tom-cat who was found apparently abandoned near their Michigan apartment was spotted by Mr Sweeney licking his fury balls in a very slow methodical rhythm whilst … Continue reading
Britains Worst Serial Killer Arrested
The Merseyside Police Force is currently investigating a local man in connection to a string of disappearances over the last 30 years. 50 year old Albert Fish was arrested at his home on Tuesday evening after a tip off that a string of girlfriends have disappeared under very suspicious circumstances. Mr Fish who was well … Continue reading
Police Called to Mass Brawl At Wedding.
A member of the general public was forced to call their local police station after a wedding at the picturesque resort of Cana, Galilee after trouble at a local wedding. Officers raided the out of hand party after Jesus openly refused to produce a large quantity of wine as promised. Jesus, one eyewitness confirmed, had … Continue reading
Policeman Kisses Rat To Death
A rat was given the kiss of life by an animal-loving policeman it has been reported in the media.The ill rodent was spotted by PC Andrew Westlife while he was on his beat in Clacton, Essex. “It ran out in front of me and stopped and looked up at me with its beady eyes.” PC … Continue reading
