David Cameron’s Bike Stolen Yet Again

Thousands of criminal files lost

“Oh no I am going to have to start eating my mum’s cakes now” said a despairing Fingers Mulreaney from Dartmoor. In agreement was Ronnie “Stick em Up ” Smith at Her Majesty’s Pleasure in Wandsworth who remarked “it is a sad day for home baking”. By SLAP

Cummerbund’s Trike Stolen As He Shops

Conservative leader David Cummerbund says his tricycle was stolen after he left it locked outside a supermarket while he shopped near his home in west London.I only went in for a sherbet dab and a few gob stoppers and when I came out I found my trikey wikey was missing.

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