2008 Cover Stories

Panther On The Prowl In Essex

News has reached the Global News Desk that a black panther has been sighted prowling the countryside near Essex. An eye witness, Mrs Pauline Price spotted what appeared to be a large agile black cat walking across the fields behind her house on Sunday night. “I was hanging out my washing on Sunday when something … Continue reading

The Global News Terrorists At The Movies

The Global News Terrorists Weekend Magazine

Global News Terrorists Daily TV Guide:Today’s Picks

T.V. Crimes 1:00 Russell Grants Postcards: Today Gordon Brown receives a postcard addressed to “That Scottish C**t” 1:30 Flog it: Cynthia Payne muses over the selling off of public institutions during Thatcher’s reign in this slightly off the wall politics show. 9.00 The Apprentice: Sir Alan witty as ever sends another no-hoper apprentice for a … Continue reading

Soapbox News Headlines From Across Britain

Graduate with BA Honours looks forward to walking dogs for a living as first job since graduating. We ask how could 3 years at University get any better in modern Britain. Out of work model asks why is it only the dead or the queen who gets their faces on Royal Mail stamps? What rights … Continue reading

He’s Back!

The Global News Terrorists At The Movies

I know what you’re thinking. “Did he eat six or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a £1.80 Magnum, the creamiest ice cream in the world, and would blow your mind with one lick, you’ve got to ask … Continue reading

The Global News Terrorists At The Movies

This Weekends Free Supplement.This Weekends Free Supplement.

This Weekend The Global News Terrorists brings you a free Christmas Wine Supplement as chosen by Amy Wino herself. Looking for something better suited for your Christmas lunch than a bottle of Thunderbird or a can of Tennants Extra Strong? Then our free supplement is a must for you this Christmas.

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