Margaret Thatcher : An Apology

The death of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has caused a great deal of soul-searching at the Rank News. And we feel that we owe you, our loyal readers, a sincere apology. On that fateful Monday, we have to admit that we were too busy getting pissed to come up with the kind of vaguely-humourous … Continue reading

Processed Food found in horses at the Grand National race

PROCESSED Food found in horses at the Grand National race in Liverpool. The Food Standards Agency have announced that they will be carrying out tests at the end of todays Grand National at Aintree Racecourse to prove if speculation is true or not. 

George Osborne Explains Confusion Over Disabled Parking Error

Chancellor George Osborne provided more information on his error in parking at a disabled parking bay at MacDonald’s this week.

Richard Littlejohnson : Why I’m Running For Pope

Last week, after speaking at one of my regular ‘Patriots Nights’ in the No Income Tax No VAT pub in Florida, many influential and political figures brought to my attention that there’s a vacancy at the top of the Catholic Church. Seeing a chance at making a real difference to a great religion, and more … Continue reading

At Home With David and Nick

A look at the Bromance between David Cameron and Nick Clegg behind the closed doors at 10 Downing Street Related articles Nick Clegg’s warning to David Cameron: Britain must stay in Europe (guardian.co.uk) David Cameron and Nick Clegg reassure Doreen Lawrence over coalition’s commitment to equality (independent.co.uk) Nick Clegg vows to ‘anchor’ government in 2013 … Continue reading

X Factor Maloney ‘Chinned A Swan’ Claim Tabloids

The contoversial star of this year’s X Factor, Christopher Maloney, is said to have “shocked his fellow finalists” by punching a defenceless swan in the face, British tabloid newspapers claimed today. The shock revelation follows weeks of increasingly negative stories appearing in the popular press about the Scouse shouter.The latest claim is that the Nan-loving … Continue reading

Amazon To Change Logo After Executive Grilled By Public Accounts Committee

Amazon are expected to change their logo after a severe grilling by the Public Accounts Committee today along side executives from Google and Starbucks. “We’re not accusing you of being illegal, we’re accusing you of being immoral” Margaret Hodge Chair of the Public Accounts Committee Related articles A highly taxing session with the public accounts … Continue reading

Mitt Romney Makes Final Push To Woo Women Voters

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney urges American voters to turn out and vote today with a final push to woo voters.

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