Richard Littlejohnson’s Christmas Message
HO HO HO! Is the appalling kind of urban gutter-talk that lefty agitators are insisting must come from Our Lord and Saviour Santa Claus this Christmas. For those of you thankfully not ‘in the know’ like the anything-goes tights-wearing pinkoes in the ‘media’ world (oooh hello Edward!), ‘ho’ is a rapper’s word for a prostitute. … Continue reading
The Vatican Denies Nativity Scene Is Too Commercialised.
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Rank News Weekly Horoscopes 27-31 December 2010
Aries: It is time to leave the past behind you and look forward to a bright new future unfortunately you have just been informed that you only have hours to live. Leo: It’s that time of the year to try and sell those unwanted Christmas presents you received this year. However, you may not … Continue reading
Doctor Poo : Christmas Special Gets The Gillian McKeith Treatment
Obnoxious pretend doctor Gillian McKeith has announced that she has become a professional actress and that she is scheduled to make a shock appearance on our TV screens this Chrismas Day. The turd-obsessed charlatan, 51, who revived her flagging television career by appearing in the hit ITV reality show ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out … Continue reading
Richard Littlejohnson : The columnist who’s finally forsaken his last remaining miniscule scrap of humanity
So did you see the student protests the other week? Or the Scum Rampage as they should have called it. I was shaking with rage as I witnessed the despicable images of destruction and terror perpetrated by these filthy workshy lettuce-munching communists on my 62-inch plasma TV in my luxury Florida home. So you can … Continue reading
American Missile Launch Kills Santa On Trial Run
Unofficial reports are coming in that NORAD (North American Aerospace Defence Command) has shot down Santa during one of his many trial runs using one of its defence missiles, possibly a heat seeking missile. Situated in a tunnel driven 3km (1.9 miles) inside Cheyenne Mountain, this facility was designed to track incoming Soviet missiles … Continue reading
US Army Pulls Out Of Iraq But One Platoon Lost In Transport Fights On
After the recent withdrawal of American Troops from Iraq news reaches our news desk that High Command are looking into a dangerous situation that may stall the current withdrawals. It has come to light that after a mix up with military orders a full platoon has fought in and around a Tie Rack Shop at … Continue reading
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 