The Wayne Rooney Barbershop Toy Set Launched

Watch as Wayne Rooney’s hair grows back in minutes without the aid of a transplant brought to you by Play-Doh La. The new Wayne Rooney “Dad’s ‘n’ Lads Barbershop Play Set” in shops now. Watch as Wayne’s hair grows and grows just like the age of his OAP prostitutes.    Related articles Your view: did … Continue reading

Wayne Rooney At The Centre Of E Coli Scare?

Wayne Rooney has denied that the current E.coli outbreak gripping Europe this week has anything to do with his recent hair transplant. The 25 year old Manchester United and England footballer  who confirmed that he has had a transplant since the end of the English football season was shocked upon hearing that he is being … Continue reading

Capello On Brink After Stanley Matthews’ England Quit Stunner

England manager Fabio Capello was left reeling today after the unexpected international retirement of legendary winger Stanley Matthews. The latest body-blow to the hapless Italian supremo was delivered by Sir Stanley’s ‘spokesman’, ridiculous shyster Derek Acorah. The oleaginous charlatan, 52, released a statement purporting to speak on behalf of Sir Stan saying “It is with … Continue reading

Fabio Capello To Hold Sleaze Summit With Ferdinand

Fabio Capello’s attempt to explain to Rio Ferdinand why he is reinstating John Terry as England captain took a farcical twist when the two men failed to meet up despite both being at Old Trafford. It leaves the captaincy issue in limbo and has created a ridiculous stand-off. Capello announced on Monday that he would … Continue reading

Forests To Be Sold Off By The Government

Birmingham City And Aston Villa Supporting The 2018 Bid

Birmingham City and Aston Villa fans denied today they were fighting with each other last night. Fans from the two rival teams stated that they were just trying to help with the England 2018 World Cup bid in Zürich. This news was reported after both sets of fans added their fine support at the end of Wednesday nights Carling … Continue reading

Newspaper Readers Shocked At Immigrant Burial

Both Daily Mail and Daily Express readers were shocked today to find that the body recently found by archaeologists near Stonehenge was not of British extraction. A million visitors from around the world flock to Stonehenge every year. But the monument’s status as an international attraction is nothing new. Yesterday scientists said the stones were attracting overseas tourists … Continue reading

Wayne Rooney Ponders On His Current Crisis

Nation shocked that another overpaid under performing England Football player is caught carrying on with another woman.

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