Republican Convention News: Warning May Contain Nuts

The Republican National Convention, or the lamest show on earth, has entered its second day in Tampa, Florida and so far, what have we learnt?*   Firstly, in shock news, we can reveal that politically-bankrupt harbinger of World War 3, Sarah Palin, has been sensationally banned from appearing by Republican Party bigwigs. Former part-time Governor … Continue reading

News In Brief: Liverpool Try To Entice Buyers For Charlie Adam

Liverpool Football Club attempt to entice more buyers for their Scottish International player Charlie Adam

Mars Rover Curiosity Hits A Snag

Mars Rover Curiosity hit a snag today Nasa officials confirmed.

O2 Customers Tell Syrians You Don’t Know What Hardship Is

Furious O2 customers have bombarded social media sites in the last 24 hours in protest against the failure of the mobile network. The wrathful reaction of disaffected users has become worldwide news as the day-long loss of mobile signal to several millions of Brits has been described as “worse than the atrocities in Syria”.

Richard Littlejohnson Introduces A Board Game For Bigots

Daily Mail readers. Do you struggle to find time in your hectic hatemongering schedules to shop for suitable presents for little Timmy and Jocasta that won’t warp their innocent little minds with modern leftist butchery? Well worry no more. Right-Thinking Games introduce the new board game that’s going down a storm in middle England. We … Continue reading

Jamie Redknapp Finally Breaks His Silence : Yes I Smashed It

Sky Sports football pundit Jamie Redknapp has at long last answered the question that had been on the Nation’s mind since the Keys/Gray Sexismgate scandal broke last month.  The former England international has spoken out in a bid to quell rampant internet speculation as to whether or not he did actually “smash” the mystery woman … Continue reading

Royal Wedding To Make Daily Express Immortal

It was the feelgood news story of the year. But whilst Tuesday’s announcement of the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton was good news for David Cameron, coming as it did on the same day that his government announced swingeing cuts in the Legal Aid system, it was hailed as “miraculous” by Richard Desmond, … Continue reading

Noticing Things With Michael McIntyre

  Hello readers! Popular comedian Michael McIntyre here and welcome to my new weekly column where I share with you some of the hilarious things I’ve noticed this week.  So without ado, let us commence. Car doors eh? What are they like? They only open one way! There I was the other day, about to … Continue reading

Scientists Move Doomsday Clock Forward To 23:59.59 as Palin Presidential Bid Gathers Pace

The scientists in charge of setting the Doomsday Clock today announced that they were moving it forward to it’s latest-ever setting of 1 second before midnight in response to rampant speculation that Tea Party darling Sarah Palin will run for the Presidency of the United States of America in 2012. The Doomsday Clock is a … Continue reading

The Rank News Magazine

This weekends Rank News Magazine asks festivals to come clean on their toilets. Your Favourite weekend magazine full to the brim with celebrity gossip and a whole lot more.

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