Ken Stott | THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire

Police Fear Safety Of Essex Lion

Posted by GregB on August 27, 2012 · 1 Comment

Police have confirmed that they are investigating eyewitness accounts of a lion roaming the Essex countryside. Dylan Cartwright was walking his dog near Baintree last night when he heard what sounded like a lions roar. “I heard a loud roar at 10pm. It sounded like a lion,” he told the BBC.

Filed under essex, Essex lion, humour, News Items, police, the global news terrorists · Tagged with Chigwell, escaped lion, Essex, essex lion, Essex Police, Ken Stott, Lion, Only Way Is Essex

Church Stunned By Monkey Fresco

Posted by GregB on August 23, 2012 · Leave a Comment

An elderly woman has stunned Spanish cultural officials with her unorthorised attempts at restoring a prized Jesus Christ fresco. Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) by Elias Garcia Martinez has held pride of place in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza for more than 100 years. The woman took her paintbrush to it after years … Continue reading →

Filed under humour, News Items, the global news terrorists · Tagged with Behold the Man, Ecce Homo, featured, Fresco, Gilbert & George, jesus, Ken Stott, Zaragoza

New Riots Expected After Arts Funding Cuts Announced

Posted by GregB on March 30, 2011 · Leave a Comment

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed that they are on high alert after news broke today that more than 200 organisations that received regular funding from Arts Council England have missed out after “a series of painful decisions”. Fears that thousands of mime anarchists will march on the capital this weekend as the news sinks in … Continue reading →

Filed under humour · Tagged with Arts Council England, Barbican Centre, City of Westminster, Ken Stott, Metropolitan Police Service, spending review