Police Fear Safety Of Essex Lion

  Police have confirmed that they are investigating eyewitness accounts of a lion roaming the Essex countryside. Dylan Cartwright was walking his dog near Baintree last night  when he heard what sounded like a lions roar. “I heard a loud roar at 10pm. It sounded like a lion,” he told the BBC.

Church Stunned By Monkey Fresco

An elderly woman has stunned Spanish cultural officials with her unorthorised attempts at restoring a prized Jesus Christ fresco. Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) by Elias Garcia Martinez has held pride of place in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza for more than 100 years. The woman took her paintbrush to it after years … Continue reading

New Riots Expected After Arts Funding Cuts Announced

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed that they are on high alert after news broke today that more than 200 organisations that received regular funding from Arts Council England have missed out after “a series of painful decisions”. Fears that thousands of mime anarchists will march on the capital this weekend as the news sinks in … Continue reading

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