Sport Relief: Next Year’s Challenge?

After Davina McCall’s death-defying triathlon challenge helped Sport Relief make a record £51 million in donations, we can exclusively reveal that the bar will be raised higher than ever before next year. And this time, you get to pick which essentially well-meaning but vainglorious celebrity undertakes some sort of push-yourself-to-the-limit borderline foolhardy publicity stunt that … Continue reading

Lib Dem Tough Guys Teach Tories A Lesson….In Blood!

  Hard-as-nails Liberal Democrat MPs last night finally fronted-up to their bullying Conservative masters in the Coalition by heroically abstaining from the Labour motion to scrap the Bedroom Tax that their own party conference officially rejected.   Bandana-clad rebel Simon Hughes urged the government to see if there should be further exemptions from the tax, … Continue reading

Margaret Thatcher : An Apology

The death of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has caused a great deal of soul-searching at the Rank News. And we feel that we owe you, our loyal readers, a sincere apology. On that fateful Monday, we have to admit that we were too busy getting pissed to come up with the kind of vaguely-humourous … Continue reading

Richard Littlejohnson : Why I’m Running For Pope

Last week, after speaking at one of my regular ‘Patriots Nights’ in the No Income Tax No VAT pub in Florida, many influential and political figures brought to my attention that there’s a vacancy at the top of the Catholic Church. Seeing a chance at making a real difference to a great religion, and more … Continue reading

At Home With David and Nick

A look at the Bromance between David Cameron and Nick Clegg behind the closed doors at 10 Downing Street Related articles Nick Clegg’s warning to David Cameron: Britain must stay in Europe (guardian.co.uk) David Cameron and Nick Clegg reassure Doreen Lawrence over coalition’s commitment to equality (independent.co.uk) Nick Clegg vows to ‘anchor’ government in 2013 … Continue reading

Republican Convention News: Warning May Contain Nuts

The Republican National Convention, or the lamest show on earth, has entered its second day in Tampa, Florida and so far, what have we learnt?*   Firstly, in shock news, we can reveal that politically-bankrupt harbinger of World War 3, Sarah Palin, has been sensationally banned from appearing by Republican Party bigwigs. Former part-time Governor … Continue reading

Richard Littlejohnson Introduces A Board Game For Bigots

Daily Mail readers. Do you struggle to find time in your hectic hatemongering schedules to shop for suitable presents for little Timmy and Jocasta that won’t warp their innocent little minds with modern leftist butchery? Well worry no more. Right-Thinking Games introduce the new board game that’s going down a storm in middle England. We … Continue reading

Richard Littlejohnson : The columnist who’s finally forsaken his last remaining miniscule scrap of humanity

So did you see the student protests the other week? Or the Scum Rampage as they should have called it. I was shaking with rage as I witnessed the despicable images of destruction and terror perpetrated by these filthy workshy lettuce-munching communists on my 62-inch plasma TV in my luxury Florida home. So you can … Continue reading

Government to Clamp Down on ‘Scrounging’ Tots

  David Cameron announced today the latest part of the Coalition’s plan to reduce the deficit; a war on workshy children.

The Rank News Magazine

This weekends Rank News Magazine full to the brim with news gossip and satire.

  • Archives

  • Submit your site to search engines This site is listed under Political Satire Directory