The Wayne Rooney Barbershop Toy Set Launched

Watch as Wayne Rooney’s hair grows back in minutes without the aid of a transplant brought to you by Play-Doh La. The new Wayne Rooney “Dad’s ‘n’ Lads Barbershop Play Set” in shops now. Watch as Wayne’s hair grows and grows just like the age of his OAP prostitutes.    Related articles Your view: did … Continue reading

Wayne Rooney At The Centre Of E Coli Scare?

Wayne Rooney has denied that the current E.coli outbreak gripping Europe this week has anything to do with his recent hair transplant. The 25 year old Manchester United and England footballer  who confirmed that he has had a transplant since the end of the English football season was shocked upon hearing that he is being … Continue reading

Breaking News: Premiership Manager Takes Out Super Injunction

Breaking News: A Premiership manager has apparently taken out a super injunction today against a leading newspaper to stop them running with a story of his alleged affair with Referee Howard Webb. Also this week Premier League winners Manchester United have announced that they will be issuing free Super Injunctions to all their players at … Continue reading

FA Announce Exclusion Zone Around Rooney’s Elbow

  The English FA to implement an exclusion zone around Wayne Rooney’s elbows to ensure that the Manchester United player’s human rights are not infringed. After an emergency meeting on Monday evening the FA have concluded that an exclusion zone was the best form of defence to protect the Manchester United striker from unwanted attention from … Continue reading

News In Brief:Wayne Cannot Get Enough Of Coleen’s Fashion Range

New High Street fashion range launched set to wow the nation. Coleen Rooney has launched her first ever fashion range that she helped design herself – and it’s more affordable than her usual boutique favourites.. She said of the range: ‘I am often asked about the clothes I wear and my sense of style and … Continue reading

Rooney Backs X Factor’s Katie Waissel After News Of Her Gran’s Prices Are Announced

Wayne Rooney has confirmed he is backing Katie Waissel to win this years X Factor final after hearing that Katie’s 81-year-old maternal grandmother Sheila Vogel charges up to £250 per hour for sex through a website called Vintage Vamps. The Manchester United player who returned to Premiership football at the weekend after attending a fitness assessment … Continue reading

Rooney Accepts 5 Year Deal At Manchester United.

Wayne Rooney today ended speculation over his future at Manchester United by signing a further 5 year contracted to stay at Manchester United. United boss Sir Alex Ferguson said: ‘I’m delighted Wayne’s agreed to stay.’ Rooney stated: “I said on Wednesday the manager’s a genius and it’s his belief and support that convinced me to … Continue reading

Rooney Wants To Try Some Of Those Old Spanish Birds Sir Alex States

Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed that Wayne Rooney wants to leave Manchester United and won’t enter into contract talks. The Old Trafford boss insisted he had never fallen out with the striker and is ‘dumbfounded’ by the his change of heart. And in an extraordinarily frank interview before Wednesday’s Champions League game against Turkish champions Bursaspor, Ferguson … Continue reading

Wayne Rooney Ponders On His Current Crisis

Nation shocked that another overpaid under performing England Football player is caught carrying on with another woman.

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