Vatican Welcomes New Invisible Cloak Material


Scientists in the UK have demonstrated a flexible film that represents a big step toward the “invisibility cloak” made famous by Harry Potter.

The film contains tiny structures that together form a “metamaterial”, which can, among other tricks, manipulate light to render objects invisible.

Flexible metamaterials have been made before, but only work for light of a colour far beyond that which we see.

Physicists have hailed the approach a “huge step forward”.

It can be confirmed that a steady flow of future customers have been clambering to contact the scientists involved in creating the new metameterial. Reports are coming in that Priests, Clergy and Boy Scout leaders are chomping at the bit to have invisible cloaks made with the material.

Ted West who has been working in children’s homes since the early 80’s couldn’t believe it when the news broke this morning.

“I have been looking for something like this for years. At least now I can enter the children’s bedrooms at night without disturbing the rest of the staff.”

Jason Hilton who has been in and out of jail because of his unhealthy interest in young boys nearly wet himself over the news.

“I have to say this will bring perverseness to an all new level. Do you think they could make bespoke trousers and undercrackers with this new material? Or at least a pair of gloves to start off with!”

Andrea Di Falco of St Andrews University, the author of the paper confirmed that the University has been inundated with volunteers  to test out the new material.

It has also been rumoured that the Vatican will be willing to lend some of its more dubious priests to help develop a range of Papal apparel to help cover up future incidents that may happen.

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