Vatican Deny Shroud Of Turin Toilet Paper Being Used In Pope Benedict’s Private Restroom



A Vatican spokesman today denied rumours that the Shroud of Turin’s ancient image is adorned across the pope’s very own toilet paper. When asked to stop back tracking and wipe the slate clean by an overly enthusiastic local report, cardinal Alphonso had this to say to awaiting press.

” We totally refute such blatant lies, why everyone knows his holiness uses Sudoku toilet roll whilst in quiet meditation.” The Global News Terrorists wonders if the cardinal is telling the truth or is he merely trying to keep a lid on the whole matter? We can assure our readers we will try to get to the bottom of this for you one way or another.

The Editor

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