Archive News: Ginger Storm Trooper Nazi Cringer

A shop owner in Hackensack, New Jersey has been asked to remove the contents of his shop window after complaints from local residents about its contents. The offending contents of the shop window were storm trooping gingerbread men. The local police chief has confirmed that complaints have been received due to the little ginger Nazis.

The owner of the shop Klaus Barbie was shocked to find the little goose-stepping treats were hard to swallow by the local residents. WE spoke to the shop owner for a response. “Mien Gott has the world gone mad? They are only little baby gingerbread men what is wrong with that? Has this great country suddenly gone anti-ginger all of a sudden? I see no reason why there has been such a fuss about the whole matter.”

We were allowed to few the alleged offensive gingerbread men under police supervision in the back of the shop. This was only after exhaustive meetings with the mayor’s office and city police representatives. Unfortunately we were not allowed to take any pictures of the storm trooping Nazi gingerbread men so we have had an artist draw a picture of what one of the offending men would have looked like.

It us understandable why the local authorities felt that the fascistic gingerbread men crossed a line after people started complaining.

The gingerbread men were created by local artist Adolphus Smits, who has displayed his works in Barbie’s store window before. Barbie said of Smits’ goose-stepping little treats: ‘He’s gone way overboard this time. A few of his other displays were on the edge, but I would never say they were offensive.’

The ruckus over the gingerbread Nazis might not be entirely unexpected given Smits’s ‘on the edge’ display from last year – featuring a little boy using his new chemistry set to manufacture crystal meth, and a snowman beating up carol singers and urinating over their open mouths whilst using his carrot in a strange manner.

Smits defended his work, saying: ‘I can differentiate between real Nazis and that the atrocities they performed compared to these little gingerbread men, but I guess some people can’t.’

‘Maybe I just find beauty in bizarre places,’ he added, ruefully.

Fans of Smits art will be pleased to know that one element of his work currently remains in place – a young Jesus pulling the wings off an angel.

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