American Missile Launch Kills Santa On Trial Run

Posted by GregB on December 19, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Unofficial reports are coming in that NORAD (North American Aerospace Defence Command) has shot down Santa during one of his many trial runs using one of its defence missiles, possibly a heat seeking missile. Situated in a tunnel driven 3km (1.9 miles) inside Cheyenne Mountain, this facility was designed to track incoming Soviet missiles and aircraft during the Cold War.

NORAD, for many years now have also been tracking Santa on their satellite system, via the internet for children across the world. Santa’s progress is tracked; it has been officially stated due to Rudolph the reindeer’s famous nose giving off an infrared signature similar to a missile launch. On this occasion it would seem all has gone wrong.

As such they have refused to comment on the possible destruction of Father Christmas due to the distress such an accident, if true, could have upon the children of the world.

Reports are hazy at the moment but it is believed that American High Command may have mistook Santa and his sleigh as a proto-type war head which was allegedly supplied to Al Qaeda by the Iranian Government due to a glitch in their defence system.

Further reports are coming in that debris has been sighted over an undisclosed area which mainly consists of burned plastic and cardboard, presumably toys and twisted lumps of metal possibly from Santa’s sleigh. In North America a group of children have been reported to have been spotted carrying a severed reindeer’s head aloft in a ritualistic ceremony. Former Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin has denied that this is Rudolph’s head. However, due to the nose of the creature having been removed, these reports, as yet remain unsubstantiated.

The World media holds its collective breath and their front pages in readiness for the truth as it unfolds. The possible backlash from parents and more importantly children is immeasurable at this time. President Bush, it is believed has already been removed to an undisclosed bunker a Pentagon source has confirmed.