FA Announce Exclusion Zone Around Rooney’s Elbow
The English FA to implement an exclusion zone around Wayne Rooney’s elbows to ensure that the Manchester United player’s human rights are not infringed. After an emergency meeting on Monday evening the FA have concluded that an exclusion zone was the best form of defence to protect the Manchester United striker from unwanted attention from … Continue reading
Sir Alex Confirms Transfer Rumours About Manchester United Not True
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson quickly denied rumours that he is to sell a key player as today’s transfer deadline hots up.
Rooney Backs X Factor’s Katie Waissel After News Of Her Gran’s Prices Are Announced
Wayne Rooney has confirmed he is backing Katie Waissel to win this years X Factor final after hearing that Katie’s 81-year-old maternal grandmother Sheila Vogel charges up to £250 per hour for sex through a website called Vintage Vamps. The Manchester United player who returned to Premiership football at the weekend after attending a fitness assessment … Continue reading
Rooney Accepts 5 Year Deal At Manchester United.
Wayne Rooney today ended speculation over his future at Manchester United by signing a further 5 year contracted to stay at Manchester United. United boss Sir Alex Ferguson said: ‘I’m delighted Wayne’s agreed to stay.’ Rooney stated: “I said on Wednesday the manager’s a genius and it’s his belief and support that convinced me to … Continue reading
Rooney Wants To Try Some Of Those Old Spanish Birds Sir Alex States
Sir Alex Ferguson has confirmed that Wayne Rooney wants to leave Manchester United and won’t enter into contract talks. The Old Trafford boss insisted he had never fallen out with the striker and is ‘dumbfounded’ by the his change of heart. And in an extraordinarily frank interview before Wednesday’s Champions League game against Turkish champions Bursaspor, Ferguson … Continue reading
THE RANK NEWS: spoof news and satire 